My Wife Will Kill Me

Dick and his wife just sealed the deal on that house smack next door to the massage parlor. Next morning, he's pounding on the door like he owns the damn place, ripping into Rayveness about the racket. She flashes that sultry smile, apologizing for the girls scrapping it out inside—turns out it's all the juicy drama of a happy ending joint. Boom. Dick's epiphany hits: he dumped his entire life savings on a pad right up against a full-on rub-and-tug. Rayveness, ever the smooth operator, spots his frustration and decides to flip the script. 'Hey Alia,' she calls with a wink, 'show this grumpy new stud some prime perks of our little neighborhood special.'